📚 How to Be the Love You Seek by Dr. Nicole LePera

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Patterns rooted in childhood wounds shape how we connect — or disconnect — with others, often locking us in painful cycles. Dr. Nicole LePera, known as known as “The Holistic Psychologist,” blends clinical psychology with holistic practices to guide you in tuning into your body, mind, and heart, cultivating emotional resilience and authentic self-love as the foundation for healthier relationships. Her approach offers practical exercises, stories, and tools designed to help you break old bonds and create safety within yourself first.​

What you can get from reading it

  • Learn to recognize how early unmet needs influence adult relational patterns, including codependency and emotional withdrawal.​
  • Nervous system regulation via "vagus nerve" breathwork (4-7-8 exhales) and somatic scans to shift from freeze/fight into ventral vagal safety.​
  • Daily self-boundary rituals: "container visualization" to hold emotions without spilling onto others, plus mirror affirmations for self-validation.​
  • Heart coherence practice — hand-on-heart breathing synced with gratitude phrases — to build emotional safety before seeking it externally.​
  • Trauma bond breakers: "parts work" journaling to dialogue with inner child wounds, releasing enmeshment through conscious uncoupling steps.​
  • roadmap to break trauma bonds by reconnecting with your innate capacity for love and filling relational gaps from within.

About the author

Dr. Nicole LePera trained in clinical psychology at Cornell University and The New School for Social Research, later expanding into holistic models that integrate mind, body, and spirit. Frustrated by the limits of traditional therapy, she developed a comprehensive, accessible approach encouraging people to take healing into their own hands. Her work has sparked a global movement, reaching millions who seek practical, whole-person tools for mental and emotional wellness.

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How to Be the Love You Seek

By:
Dr. Nicole LePera
Break the chains of past trauma to become the love and safety you crave — starting with your relationship to yourself.
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